Funny Definitions
School : A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
Life Insurance : A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
Divorce : Future tense of Marriage.
Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
Nurse : A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage : It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either” .
Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.
Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Doppler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very high.
Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
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