Funny Jokes
Orthopedic Surgeon
The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items. I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car, his bony arm across the back of my seat.
I hadn’t considered the drive across town. At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside me became obvious, and I looked across and explained, “I’m delivering him to my doctor’s office.”
The other driver leaned out of his window. “I hate to tell you, lady,” he said, “but I think it’s too late!”
Contraceptive Pills
The tired doctor was awakened by a phone call in the middle of the night.
“Please, you have to come right over,” pleaded the distraught young mother. “My child has swallowed a contraceptive.” The physician dressed quickly, but before he could get out the door, the phone rang again.
“You don’t have to come over after all,” the woman said with a sigh of relief. “My husband just found another one.”
Super Computer
Officers at a military installation were being lectured about a new computer. The training officer said the computer was able to withstand nuclear and chemical attacks.
Suddenly, he saw that one of the officers had a cup of coffee and yelled, “There will be no eating or drinking in this room! You’ll have to get rid of that coffee.”
The officer said meekly, “Sure, but why?”
“Because a coffee spill could ruin the keyboard.”
A CEO Speech
The CEO was scheduled to speak at an important convention so he asked one of his employees, Jenkins, to write him a punch, 20-minute speech. When the CEO returned from the big event, he was furious.
“What’s the idea of writing me an hour-long speech?”, he demanded. “Half the audience walked out before I finished.” Jenkins was baffled. “I wrote you a 20-minute speech,” he replied. “I also gave you the two extra copies you asked for.”